They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
