I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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