Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
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