I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
