READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
