You just made me feel so damn special
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
