The maid of honor just puked.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
