So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
