I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
