Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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