Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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