if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
