Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
