I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
