I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
