He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
