OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
