im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
