I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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