just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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