she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
