Her vagina should come with caution tape.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
