dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
