Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
