it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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