clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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