maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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