Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
