So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I think weed is turning my hair brown
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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