I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
