When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
