Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
