i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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