I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize
