I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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