Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
