She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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