well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
