That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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