I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
