he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
