I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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