I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I'm getting married
To pizza
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
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