just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Why is there bacon in the couch?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
