i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize