you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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