yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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