Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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