I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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