I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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