Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
