the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
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