I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
