my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
