Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
