I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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